|
|
Steve News|Audio/Video|Squint Info|Steve Links|Campaign Info|Site News|Message Board|The Guestbook|Back to Main
1.) The Lament of
Desmond R. G. Underwood-Frederick IV
2.) Bannerman
3.) Smug
4.) Jesus Is For Losers
5.) The Finish Line
6.) The Moshing Floor
7.) Easy Listening
8.) Curses
9.) Sock Heaven
10.) Cash Cow (A Rock Opera Performed in 3 Small Acts)
The Lament of Desmond Ray Gallahad Underwood Frederick IV
ah, the news of my impending death
came at a really bad time for me
yeah, the news of my impending death
any other day might have been ok
I was starting to track with my inner guide
I was getting in touch with my feminine side
but when the doctor starts whistling "Happy Trails"
tends to knock a bit of wind out of the old sails
CHORUS:
Desi Ray, if I may be so blunt
Galahad, bag your agnostic front
Underwood, hire a good undertaker
Freddie, get ready to meet your maker
ah, the news of my impending death
came at a really bad time for me
I was far too you'd to depreciate
when they read me my expiration date
I'd built Iron Man Stalls sealed bids for a granite vault
and I'm pretty sure this is my parents' fault
(Repeat Chorus)
ah, the news of my impending death
came at a really bad time for me
when they cancel your breathing policy
tends to steal a bit of the old Joie De Vivre
I'd just found the lost key to my mythic life
so I bravely shook free of my kids and wife
I had seminars booked as a second career
until a still small voice screamed loud and clear
(repeat chorus)
Back to Top
one man's grinning from behind the net
waits 'till the camera's adjusted
don't you worry 'bout the flak you'll get?
aren't you scared of getting busted?
the ball gets booted
it hits the crossbeam
up goes the banner
John 3:16
CHORUS:
He don't worry 'bout the critics
they tow the line
he don't worry 'bout the cynics
they live to whine
he ain't gonna change the world
but he knows who can
Bannerman
Prime time football in the Buffalo snow
freezing his little epidermis
lifts that banner at the first field goal
drinks clam chowder from a thermos
he's never missed a game
He never spells it wrong
he never talks back when they tell him "move along"
CHORUS 2:
He don't worry 'bout the critics
they'll howl for days
he don't worry 'bout the cynics
they navel-gaize
he ain't gonna change the world but he knows who can
Bannerman
sports fans everywhere dying for a drink
but they've gotta find the well first
one man's ready with a banner and a wink
a whole lotta souls are getting well-versed
everytime I see him
I smile a little more
I can't help praying for another high score
(repeat chorus 2)
he don't worry 'bout the critics
they've met their match
he don't worry 'bout the cynics
they sniff and scratch
he ain't gonna change the world
but he knows who can
Bannerman
Back to Top
strike a little pose
chin up in the air
lips together tightly
nostrils in a flare
now look like you care
very nice
practice in the mirror
brushing back a tear
very sincere
a promising career could begin right here at home
if you've got that smug... that smug
chorus
hey mama hey mama lookee what your little
babies all have become
hey mama hey mama don't it every make you wish you'd been a nun?
vain and fickle, were we weaned on a pickle?
is it in our blood?
rome is burning
we're here looking smug
strike another pose
power politics
swallow their convictions
get your power fix
we love to mud wrestle
we love being politically koreshed
practice that smug
pose it like a mans
one part master Limbaugh
two parts Madame streisand
now pretend you're in a band
my my, we're looking smug
very very very very
chorus
all you smug starved millions in the thick of
the search
welcome to our church
whatcha wanna solve?
we can help you evolve
from merely self-righteous
to perfectly smug
strike the proud pose
of our country club brethren
friendly as a tomb
fragrant as the bottom of a locker room broom
now what's the matter?
hey, get off your knees...
that part don't come till later...
God will not be pleased
chorus
Rome is cooking
...my we're looking smug
Back to Top
if I was driven
driven ahead by some noble ideal
who took the wheel?
if I was given
given a glimpse of some glorious road
when was it sold?
so caught up in the chase
I keep forgetting my place
just as I am
I am stiff-necked and proud
Jesus is for losers
why do I still play to the crowd?
Just as I am
pass the compass, please
Jesus is for losers
I'm off about a hundred degrees
if I was groping
groping around for some ladder to fame
I am ashamed
if I was hoping
hoping respect would make a sturdy footstool
I am a fool
bone-weary every climb
blindsided every time
just as I am
I am needy and dry
Jesus is for losers
the self-made need not apply
just as I am
in a desert crawl
Lord, I'm so thirsty take me to the waterfall
and if your certain
certain that faith is some know-nothing mask
why do you still ask?
they don't grade here on the curve
we both know what we deserve
just as you are
just a wretch like me
Jesus is for losers
grace from the blood of a tree
just as we are
at a total loss
Jesus is for losers
broken at the foot of the cross
just as I am
pass the compass, please
Jesus is for losers
I'm off about a hundred degrees
just as I am
in a desert crawl
Lord, I'm so thirsty
take me to the waterfall
Back to Top
once upon an average morn,
an average boy was born for the second time.
prone upon the alter there
he whispered up a prayed he'd kept hid inside.
the vision came,
he saw the odds,
a hundred little gods on a guilded wheel.
"these will vie to take Your place,
but, Father, by Your grace, I will never kneel."
and I saw you upright and proud,
and I saw you wave to the crowd,
and I saw you laughing out loud
for the Philistines.
and I saw you brush away rocks,
and I saw you pull up your socks,
and I saw you out of the blocks
for the Finish Line.
darkness falls,
the devil stirs,
and as your vision blurs you start stumbling.
the heart is weak,
the will is gone,
and every strong conviction comes tumbling down.
malice reigns,
the acid guile
is sucking at your shoes while the mud is fresh.
it floods the trail,
it bleeds you dry,
as every little god buys its pound of flesh.
and I saw you
licking your wounds,
and I saw you
weave your cocoons,
and I saw you
changing your tunes,
for the party line.
and I saw you
welsh on old debts,
I saw you and your comrades bum cigarettes.
and you hemmed and you hawed,
and you hedged all your bets waiting for a sign.
let's all wash our hands
as we throw little fits.
let's all wash our hands
as we curse hypocrites.
we're locked in the washroom
turning old tricks
deaf,
and joyless,
and full of it.
the vision came,
he saw the odds,
a hundred little gods on a guilded wheel.
"these have tried to take your place,
but Father, by Your grace
I will never kneel,
I will never kneel..."
off in the distance
bloodied but wise,
as you squint with the light
of the Truth in your eyes,
and I saw you
both hands were raised,
and I saw your lips move in praise,
and I saw you steady your gaze
for the Finish Line.
every idol like dust,
a Word scattered them all,
and I rose to me feet
when you scaled the last wall.
and I gasped when I saw you fall in His arms
at the Finish Line,
at the Finish Line.
Back to Top
pendleton elbows
stick in my craw
old doc martin
he made me say "aaaaw"
deck your best partner
lasses or lads
don't you feel lucky
in your knee pads?
chorus
on the moshing floor
...whatever whatever
on the moshing floor
...whatever whatever
whatever stage, whatever floor
hangtime hangtime
and it's 1,2,3,4
what are we diving for?
no guru, no mother, no method, no style
nice style, bad form
is the body still warm?
I wanna see you blink
shrinks in lab coats
huddle in the back
whatcha blaming me for?
I'm just the soundtrack
all you baby boomers
feigning dismay
you hired the nanny
you faked her resume
chorus
...I wanna do that crawl
malls and religion
build the new forts
Jesus is a franchise
in their food courts
who needs commitment?
you gargle then spit
just like the home team
in the moshing pit
chorus
Back to Top
gather me grandchildren if you love a good mystery
gather me grandchildren for a little church history
it's 2044: you're avoiding our turn-of-the-century way
how did we strike it rich?
...kissing up to the powerful
how did we make our pitch?
...satellites by the towerful
why do you young people have to go and get caught up in a radical phase?
conscience was clear and my wallet was full
didn't hear none of this "sacrifice" bull
tough times call for a backtrack
gimme that old-time easy listening
cuddle up, yeah yeah
12 hours, twice a day
cuddle up, yeah yeah
simmer down, attaway
color me old-fashioned, but I will remember
when the sermons were affirmin, cause the Lord liked us better then
its 2044
and I don't wanna be my brother's keeper no more
color me chicken yellow if I liked it in the ozone
call me lemon jello if I lacked a little backbone
we're King's Kids, dangit
and we used to know what a housekeeper was for
tickle my ear and I'll pay for your show
sing about stuff that I already know
whisper sweet nothings
pour a nightcap
gimme that old time easy listening
cuddle up, yeah yeah
12 hours, twice a day
cuddle up, yeah yeah
simmer down, attaway
cuddle up, yeah yeah
order now, don't delay
cuddle up, yeah yeah
sleep it off, drool away
gather-me-round children, cause your faith is a mystery
gather me grandchildren for a little church history
its 2044 and I miss our turn-of-the-century ways
how did we strike it rich?
...kissing up to the powerful
how did we strike it rich?
...satellites by the towerful
why do you young hotheads have to go and get caught up in a radical phase?
I'm ok, you're OK, we're OK, so
think I'm gonna by my own radio show
spread the good news and the barry manilow
happy talk, no rock, non-stop easy listening
Back to Top
sworn to love and cherish always
sworn as their provider all your days
you've seen that look in each of their eyes
so helpless, so demanding
you feel the strain of labor in vain
the curses rain
and few are left standing
chorus
never have I seen the righteous forsaken
never abandoned in the floodlands
never have I seen their children out begging
never have I seen them slip through Your hands
ignorance or apathy?
which way?
"we don't know and we don't care," they say
and as we watch the family die
and orphan choir rehearses
their daddies left without a good-bye
will, my man, buckle under these curses?
chorus
and the curses fall on another deserter
and the curses fall on another deserter
and the curtains fall on another deserter
chorus
Back to Top
out of the wringer
into the dryer
spins the clothes higher
squeezing out the static and shocks
Lord, where do they go?
chorus
one pile waits with their god in a box
the other pile nervously mocks heaven
misfits lost in the dryer, take heart
maybe there's a place up in sock heaven
out of the wringer
into the dryer
couldn't just retire
had to try tempting the fates
one little band
spinning round together
couldn't cling forever
God, I think I'm losing my mates
seven good years
followed by the feeling I'd hit the glass ceiling
maybe I'd just disappear
pick any market
pick a straightjacket
if you can't act it
misfit, you don't belong here
Lord, where do we go?
chorus
...didn't want a platform to build a new church
didn't want a mansion in rock heaven
didn't want more than to be understood
maybe there's a place up in sock heaven
Lord, where do we go?
We're gathered here to ask the Lord's blessing
maybe not His blessing
maybe we're not asking at all
out of the box with every good intention
did you fail to mention
this time we were destined to crawl
and ever day that we died just a little more
I was sure you were soverignly watching us dangle
I don't get it now
but I'll get it when
in sock heaven
I see it all from Your angle
chorus
...one pile waits with their god in a box...
God's got His saints up in Sock heaven
Back to Top
Cash Cow ( A Rock Opera in Three Small Acts)
Act
I:
move...
move in closer...
move in closer to the...
move in closer to the middle of the frame
Act II:
it was a morning just like any other morning
...in the Sinai desert...
...1200 BC
it glistened, it glowed, it rose from the gold of the children of Israel
(and most of the adults
the cash cow
the golden cash cow had a body like the great cows of ancient Egypt
and a face like the face of Robert Tilton (without the horns)
and through the centuries it has roamed the earth like a ravenous bovine
seeking whom it may lick
cash cow, cash cow
from the valley of the shadow of the outlet mall
to the customized pet-wear boutique
from the trailer of the fry chef
to the palace of the sheik
the cash cow lurks
the cash cow lurks
the cash cow lurks
who loves you baby?
who'll give you good credit?
who says you'll regret it?
who loves you baby?
who'll give you good credit?
who says you'll regret it?
"I was young and I needed the money
I had money, and I needed more money
I was filthy rich - all I wanted was love. and a little more money..."
woe to you. proud mortal!
secure in your modest digs
you think you're immune?
you, who couldn't finger said cow in a police line-up with the three little pigs?
cash cow - master of disguises
who'd gonna change shape at will?
who's the eye in the pyramid on the back of the dollar bill?
who love power lunching from spago to the sizzler?
guess who's coming to dinner?
who loves you, baby?
who'll give you good credit?
who says you'll regret it?
One yank on that udder
will land your butter
in a sling
first one's free.
cow junkies take heed
cash cow, coming to getcha!
why?
because you think this is stupid, don't you?
the cash cow will not be mocked!
the cash cow's planning a coup!
the cash cow chews cud bigger than you!
woe, woe to you who blow off this warning
perhaps you've already been licked...
I too was hypnotized
by those big cow eyes
the last time I uttered
those three little words
"I deserve better"
Back to Top
