The following morning, Kevin woke up to the sound of Abigail being sick. He didn’t hesitate, and before Abigail was even aware that he was awake, Kevin was by her side comforting her. She collapsed in his arms and welcomed his warm embrace, which was a sharp contrast from the cold tiled floor in the bathroom. “What happened? You were feeling fine last night.” Kevin said as he felt Abigail’s forehead for any signs of a temperature.

“I don’t know. It must just be the flu.” Abigail lied. The truth was that she had a different nightmare just before she woke up. In this nightmare, her relationship with Kevin was going strong when someone from her past recognized her and went straight to the media with her story. Just before she woke up, Kevin was angry with Abigail for lying to him. The thought that she could loose Kevin if details about her past ever surfaced like that scared her to death. She almost wondered if continuing their relationship was really the best thing to do if it meant they could both wind up getting hurt. Little did she know that it would serve as a premonition as opposed to just being a terrifying nightmare.

“Can you just take me home Kevin? I know you need to get to rehearsals this morning and I don’t think I’m going to go to work today.” Abigail asked. She needed some time alone to quite possibly make the most difficult decision of her life.

“Are you sure you don’t just want to hang out here? You know you’re welcome to stay here.” Kevin offered. The truth was, he was even more concerned about Abigail now and he didn’t want her to go home.

“Thanks for the offer, but I just feel like being in my own bed today. I hope you understand.” Abigail replied as Kevin helped her off the floor.

“Of course I understand. Just let me put some clothes on and we’ll get you home.” Kevin said as Abigail took a seat on his bed and rubbed her temples hoping to ease the throbbing pain in her head.

Abigail curled up in the passenger seat and drifted off to sleep while Kevin drove her home. God how she wished the nightmare she was living was over.

Kevin stayed with Abigail for as long as he could that morning. He assured that she got some fluids in her system and when he reluctantly left her apartment, she was sleeping peacefully. It was times like this that he resented having such a demanding career, because he should have been able to just call in sick and spend the day looking after Abigail.

As soon as Abigail heard her apartment door close, she reached for the phone and called Julia at work, she desperately needed to talk to her. Abigail needed someone with a little more reason to help her figure out what to do. Abigail could always count on Julia, and she promised she would be over at lunchtime.

Abigail took the opportunity to call her lawyer while she was alone. She needed to know if any progress had been made on her case. Unfortunately she was even more discouraged after talking to him. They hadn’t found any more clues since they last spoke, and he advised Abigail not to tell her boyfriend anything. It would just serve to jeopardize the case.

 Abigail hated her life. It if wasn’t for her past, she’d have no reservations about moving forward with Kevin, but then again if it never happened, she would have never met Kevin. At this point, she wasn’t sure if she would do it differently if given the chance. The truth was, she was so thankful to have Kevin in her life. She had fallen hard for Kevin and she didn’t think it was possible to turn her back on him at this point. It was simply too late.

Julia showed up just after noon. “God, you look like shit Abi.” Julia said as she embraced her friend in a much-needed hug.

“I could always count on you for an honest opinion.” Abigail said as she lay down on the couch. She was still feeling nauseous and week.

“Spill girlfriend. I doubt you called me over here to tell me that you have the flu.” Julia said, suspecting that there was trouble in paradise.

“I’m falling in love with him Julia.” Abigail admitted for the first time.

“That’s supposed to be a good thing Abigail. Why the long face?” Julia asked.

“I’m starting to have bad nightmares again. It started as the same nightmare I had for months following Frank’s death. But last night it was different. I dreamed that the tabloids got a hold of the story and Kevin was angry with me for lying to him. I don’t think I could deal with loosing him that way Julia. The truth is I don’t think I could deal with loosing him at all.” Abigail explained.

“It’s only a dream sweetie. That doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. You need to move on honey. This is just going to eat you alive if you don’t let it go. Frank’s dead and this is your reality Abigail. Now, I have a feeling you’ve found something special with Kevin, so don’t throw it away.” Julia said.

“I was thinking about seeing a psychiatrist again. It helped met get over the nightmares the first time.” Abigail said, waiting for her friend’s advice.

“Then do what ever is necessary Abigail. It might do you some good to talk about everything, get it all off your chest.” Julia said.

“But what do I tell Kevin?” Abigail asked.

“Tell him the truth. He’s all ready aware of the fact that you’re having difficulties leaving something in the past. I’m sure he’d be supportive.” Julia said as the phone rang.

“It’s probably Kevin. I don’t know if I can talk to him right now.” Abigail said.

“You will talk to him Abigail. I’m not going to let you mess up what you have with him. Now answer the phone, or I will and I don’t think you want me doing that.” Julia said as she held out the cordless phone.

Abigail answered the phone, and was correct when she assumed it was Kevin. “Hey Abi. We’re just taking a break and I wanted to call and see how you are feeling. You don’t really sound any better.” Kevin said.

“No, I’m not really feeling any better, but I’m hanging in there. Do you have any idea when you guys will be finished up today? Abigail asked. She couldn’t lie to herself anymore. She needed Kevin.

“We should be done around dinner time. Did you want me to come over?” Kevin asked. She didn’t really have a choice since he had all ready planned on spending the evening with her. He didn’t care if all she did was sleep, because it was important for him just to be there for Abigail.

“Would you mind?” Abigail asked in a weak voice. She was close to tears.

“Not at all. There is nowhere else I want to be tonight. I have to run for now though. Take care of yourself and I’ll see you later.” Kevin said.

“Thanks Kevin.” Abigail said.

“You’re welcome. Now get back in bed.” Kevin said before he hung up the phone.

Abigail hung up the phone and broke down in tears. “I can’t loose him Julia.” Abigail said. Julia joined her on the couch and let her friend cry on her shoulder. She would do everything in her power to see to it that Abigail didn’t loose Kevin.

When Julia finally got Abigail calmed down and back in bed, she left to go back to work. Abigail cried herself to sleep that afternoon. Her talk with Julia hadn’t helped her make a decision.

When Kevin arrived later that afternoon, his heart broke when he saw Abigail’s tear stained face. He was convinced that Abigail didn’t have the flu, but she was worrying herself sick over something. He just wished that Abigail would let him in and give him some idea why her past had to remain such a mystery. Kevin decided not to disturb the peaceful sleep Abigail appeared to need so desperately.

Kevin sat down at the desk in Abigail’s room and wrote down some ideas he had for a new song, which was inspired by his relationship with Abigail. He always found it easier to write music when he was struggling with something. Abigail caught his attention a short while later when she started moaning. Kevin wasn’t too alarmed until he heard her say, “No Kevin.” He immediately went to Abigail’s side and tried to wake her up. “It’s okay Abi, I’m right here.” Kevin said as he took a trembling Abigail in his arms. He became even more concerned when Abigail buried her head in his chest and began to cry once again. Kevin held Abigail at arms length and said, “You need to let me in on what is upsetting you so much if you want me to help you.”

“I can’t Kevin. I’d love to tell you, but I can’t. Maybe it’s best if you just left. I feel so damn guilty because I can’t tell you and you just keep getting more frustrated as time goes on. I love you Kevin, but I don’t think this will work. My past is so fucked up and I just don’t think I can handle all the ghosts and you at the same time.” Abigail said as she continued to cry. She felt like her heart was breaking.

Kevin remained silent for a few minutes. He needed some time to process what Abigail was saying. If he heard correctly, she had just told him that she loved me, but she was also asking him to leave. He knew one thing for sure. Kevin was too involved to turn his back on Abigail now. She obviously needed to work out some issues, but he was not going to turn his back on her.

“Oh god, you’re scarring me Kevin. Say something.” Abigail said as she continued to cry. In her heart she knew she didn’t want Kevin to leave, and she was scarred that he would listen to her.

“I’m confused Abigail. What do you want me to say?” Kevin asked, thoroughly confused by Abigail’s erratic behavior.

“What I really need to hear you say is that no matter what happened in my past, you’ll never leave me. I’m so afraid that if you ever find out what happened, that you’ll hate me and never want to see me again.” Abigail said, as she looked Kevin in the eye.

Kevin was even more confused now. “Did you do something wrong Abigail?” Kevin asked. He needed to know more before he made any promises.

“No. But some people thought I did. That’s all I can say Kevin. All you need to know is that I didn’t do it.” Abigail said she searched Kevin’s eyes for a flicker of hope.

“I wish I understood why you can’t tell me Abigail. Maybe it would make it a little easier to accept all of this.” Kevin said.

“I’ll understand if you want to walk away Kevin. I know I’m asking for a lot.” Abigail said, as another round of tears threatened to escape.

Kevin sighed as he tried to collect his thoughts. “I’m not going to walk away Abigail. I care about you too much to do that. But you have to know how difficult it is for me to accept this. You need to help me out here Abigail. What can I do to help?” Kevin said, trying to push his frustration aside.

“Just be there for me Kevin. I’m going to try and get some help. A few years ago I talked to a psychiatrist and she helped me overcome a lot of my fears. I’m hoping that will help this time as well.” Abigail said.

“I feel like I should be doing more, but if you’re sure there is nothing else I can do to help, then I’ll stay by your side as you work through this. Do you feel better knowing that I’m not leaving you?” Kevin asked.

“Yes Kevin. It makes all the difference in the world. I know I’m asking for a lot Kevin and I need you to know how much I appreciate your support.” Abigail said as she lightly kissed Kevin on the lips.

“If it makes you feel better, then it makes me feel better. Now that we have that out of the way, what can I get you for dinner?” Kevin asked, determined to get Abigail back on her feet again.