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Chapter 9
Laura closed the door behind her, and slid to the floor. She placed her head in her hands, and let the tears fall. Why didn't she think about all of this before falling for him again. Their lives were totally different and she thought a relationship was impossible.
"Laura are you okay?" Gloria asked.
Laura looked up at Gloria and started crying even harder. Gloria took her hand and suggested they talk over chocolate ice cream.
Laura sunk onto the sofa and looked out the window, feeling numb. If this was the right thing to do, why did it hurt so much Laura asked herself.
"Here you go sweetie, a big bowl of chocolate ice cream. Do you want to talk about what happened?" Gloria said as she sat on the other side of the sofa.
"I just broke up with Kevin." Laura said quietly.
"Broke up with him? But why?" Gloria questioned.
"He leaves on tour tomorrow." Laura responded.
"Is that the only reason?" Gloria asked.
"This was why we broke up all those years ago Gloria. I am not prepared for a long distance relationship." Laura said as she put the bowl on the coffee table and walked to her room.
The next morning, Laura was relieved to see that Gloria had not gotten up yet. She did not sleep very well the night before and did not feel like talking. She grabbed a granola bar and quickly left the apartment.
She had problems concentrating that morning, and at lunchtime she had decided to give Kevin a call. She wasn't sure why, but she did want to talk to him once more before he left. At least say good-bye to him. She was heartbroken when all she got was Kevin's answering machine, saying he was out of town for a few months. She was too late. She had missed him. She choked back tears, and threw herself back into her work. She worked late that night since there was nothing for her to go home to.
She finally got home at 8pm that night, and was mentally and physically exhausted. She went straight to the washroom to take a long hot shower.
Half an hour later, she walked into her bedroom. She threw on a pair of jogging pants and a T-shirt. Just as she was about to leave the room, something caught her eye. It was a white envelope sitting on her pillow, with her name on it. She instantly recognized it as Kevin's handwriting. He must have stopped by before leaving for the airport, Laura thought to herself. She sat down on the bed, and took the letter in her hand. It took her several minutes for her to open it, but when she did, it read:
Dear Laura,
As I said last night, I am not giving up on us. No one knows better than I do, that a relationship doesn't easily fit into my life. But having you back in my life is something that I want, and if you want something bad enough, you can make it work. Laura, I have everything that I have ever dreamed of in life, except someone special to share it with. I now know, after spending the past few days with you, that you are that special someone. I never should have let you go all those years ago, and I am not letting you go this time without a fight. Please do not get upset at Gloria, but she gave me your work number. I will call you tomorrow, hoping that you have changed your mind. I know we can make this work Laura, just give me a chance to prove that to you.
If you need to get in touch with me, just call Ted at Jive, and he can tell you how to get in touch with me.
I hope to talk to you tomorrow,
All my love, Kevin.
Laura lay down in bed and hugged her pillow as she cried herself to sleep.
Laura dreaded going to work the next day, but knew she had to face the day. Hopefully she would be occupied, and not at her desk when Kevin called. All morning she jumped when the phone rang, and was relieved to find out each time that it was not him calling. Although whenever she hung up, she was a little disappointed.
Just before she left for lunch, the telephone rang once again. She was expecting a call from a supplier, and answered the phone immediately. "I was afraid you weren't going to answer." Laura heard a familiar voice say.
"I was expecting a call," was all that Laura said.
"Do you have a few minutes to talk?" Kevin asked.
"Not really, I was just about to go for lunch." Laura responded coldly.
"Can I call back later?" Kevin asked.
"I don't think so Kevin. I have a busy afternoon." Laura said.
"Look Laura, talk to me." Kevin pleaded.
"What is there to say Kevin?" Laura asked coldly.
"Come on. Don't tell me that you aren't hurting too Laura. Give me a chance damn it!" Kevin said in a raised voice.
"I'm sorry Kevin. I don't have the time for this right now." Laura said just before hanging up. Laura leaned against her desk and couldn't believe how cold she just was. She needed Kevin more than he knew, but he couldn't give her what she needed half way around the world.
Laura struggled through the rest of the afternoon. Fortunately she was busy, and was able to keep her mind occupied. It wasn't until she was on her way home and she heard "All I Have To Give" on the radio. She noticed she was two blocks away from Gloria's club, and decided she needed to talk to Gloria.
Laura walked into the club, and was relieved that it wasn't that busy. She really needed to talk tonight. She spotted Gloria at the bar on the phone. As she got closer, she overheard part of the conversation.
"I honestly don't know what she is thinking Kevin." Gloria said. After a brief pause, she ended the conversation by saying, "I will Kevin. Take care of yourself."
As Gloria hung up the phone, Laura asked, "What was that all about?"
"Laura he is confused and hurting. He really wants to make this work." Gloria said as she gave her friend a hug.
"I don't know what to do Gloria. I feel bad because I was pretty cold on the phone earlier today. I need him here Gloria, not half way around the world." Laura said as she sat down on a bar stool.
"Then call him and tell him that Laura. He can't come home, but don't keep him in the dark. This will be a lot easier for him if he just understands where you are coming from." Gloria paused. "Look Laura, he obviously cares a lot about you. And I care about you because you are my friend. I know you love him, and of course I am going to try and help the two of you work this out." Gloria finished.
"I'm afraid it's too late though Gloria." Laura said.
"It is not too late Laura! He will be in Belgium for a few days, and gave me a number where he can be reached. Go home and talk to him Laura. At least tell him how you feel, instead of putting up a wall." Gloria pleaded.
Laura grabbed the piece of paper from Gloria's hand, and before turning around to leave, she said, "No promises. But I will at least talk to him." Laura promised.
"That is all I ask Laura. If you need me, give me a call and I can come home." Gloria said as she watched her friend leave.
Half an hour later, Laura was at home, sitting in front of the phone trying to get the courage to phone Kevin. She was having an inner battle. Part of her kept telling her that it was late there, but another part of her kept telling her that Kevin would be more than happy to talk to her no matter how late it was.
Five minutes later, she finally convinced herself to pick up the phone and dial the number that was on the piece of paper Gloria gave her. She asked for Kevin Richardson, and was told that they were not to put any calls through to his room. The best they could do was leave a message for him and he would get it in the morning. She pleaded with the person on the other end that it was important that she talked to him. She was simply told that all fans said that. She finally had to settle for leaving a message, and she was promised that they would get the message to him as soon as possible.
One hour later, just as Laura was finishing up dinner the telephone rang. She froze for a second, wondering what she would say if it was Kevin returning her call. She grabbed the portable phone and after the fourth ring finally answered it. She was relieved, yet scared when she heard Kevin on the other end.
"You called." Kevin said.
"I stopped by the club, and Gloria gave me your number," was all that Laura was able to say.
"What did you want?" Kevin said coldly.
Laura started crying silently, now knowing how Kevin felt when she gave him the cold shoulder earlier in the day. She was startled when Kevin said, "I don't have time for these games right now Laura."
"I guess it is late there." Laura managed to say.
"Yes it is Laura. If you called to say something, say it." Kevin said abruptly.
Laura couldn't take it anymore, and broke down as she slumped to the floor. God how she wished he was there to hold her, but he wasn't. "Maybe I will give you a call tomorrow." Laura said.
There was a short pause, before Kevin spoke. "Laura I have no problem with talking right now, but you need to talk too." Kevin said a little more lightly.
Laura quietly said, "I'm sorry Kevin."
"Sorry for what Laura? Sorry for breaking my heart right before I leave or sorry for hanging up on me earlier?" Kevin said.
"For all of it Kevin." Laura said in between sobs.
"Talk to me Laura. Tell me what is on your mind." Kevin said in a much softer tone.
"I'm afraid Kevin. I love you and that is the problem. I want you here with me, not half way around the world." Laura admitted.
"I'm afraid too Laura, but for different reasons. I need to know that I have someone I can come home to, someone I can call when I am feeling lonely. I see the other guys maintain relationships while we're touring, and I know we can do it too." Kevin said.
"Yeah, but you have told me that their girlfriends have a little bit more flexibility and can fly out to be with them. I can't do that Kevin. I just started a new job, and certainly cannot ask for anytime off during my probation period. " Laura said.
"I don't expect you to fly out here and see me Laura. I know how important your career is to you, and I don't want you to jeopardize it by coming to see me. I am only away for 3 months Laura, not a lifetime. I just need to know that you are there for me and only a phone call away. " Kevin responded.
"And what about when I need you?" Laura asked.
"That I know will be a little more difficult, and unfortunately there is nothing I can do about that. But I promise, you will always know where I am and at least know how to get a message to me." Kevin explained.
Laura was silent for a few minutes. Finally Kevin broke the silence and said, "Please Laura, tell me that you will at least try."
"Ok Kevin. I will try." Laura said quietly.
"Did I hear you right Laura?" Kevin asked.
"Yes you did Kevin. I will try. You are right. I do love you and I am hurting. I am not sure if this will take away my pain though." Laura said honestly.
"I will do everything in my power to make this work Laura. Where are you right now?" Kevin asked.
"Sitting in the kitchen." Laura answered.
"On the cold floor I bet. Why don't you take the phone into your room, crawl under the covers, and we'll talk for a while." Kevin said.
"It is so late there though Kevin. Maybe I should let you get some sleep." Laura said as she walked towards her room.
"Don't worry about me. I have made it through the day with less sleep. I think we both need each other right now." Kevin said.
Laura pulled down the covers and turned the lights out. "I'm sorry for hurting you Kevin. Now I wish you had left on good terms." Laura said as she got comfortable.
"Forget about it okay. I know this wasn't easy on you. I am just thankful we worked it out." Kevin said.
Laura looked up and saw a smiling Gloria standing at her door. "Listen Kevin. I think I am going to let you go. I know it is late and I don't want you to be exhausted so early in the tour. Gloria is here and I would like to thank her for not giving up on me either." Laura said.
"Ok Laura, thank-you for calling. I know I will sleep better tonight. Say thank-you to Gloria for me as well." Kevin said.
"I sure will. Hey do you think you will have some time to talk tomorrow." Laura asked.
"How about I give you a call on your lunch break again?" Kevin asked.
"Sounds good to me. I look forward to it." Laura said.
"So do I. I love you." Kevin said.
"I love you too. Sleep tight." Laura said just before she hung up.
"So I see you two finally talked." Gloria said with a smile.
"Yes, thanks to you!" Laura said.
"Ah, it was nothing really. I just saw how much you two loved each other and wanted to see both of you happy." Gloria said.
"Well I still don't know how it will work out, but I at least promised Kevin I would try." Laura said.
"Well that is all you can do. You know I am on your side." Gloria said before she turned and entered her own room.
