These quotes don't necessarily portray the true opinions and ideals of the speakers. They're posted here merely for their entertainment and humor value. Enjoy...

"...i am sweet, but fuck with me and i'll mop the floor with you." - Shirley

"...he wasn't a real man, because, i'm sorry, a real man gives head...get down, get busy, or get out." - Shirley

"i want a man who will let me pee in his belly button. i want a man to accept the beast in me." - Shirley

"and when things get bad, my boyfriend does dance for me...he's a pretty snappy dancer." - Shirley

"...my man has to be cool enough to say 'what did you do today, darling?' and hear me reply 'well, i put my crotch next to gavin rossdale's for the cover of details' and not blink an eye." - Shirley

"i don't want a tiny penis, nor do i want a huge one...you just want a nice pound of flesh." - Shirley

"my first wish is for the complete and total destruction of the spice girls. i want them ritually humiliated in the streets. i want them tarred and feathered. i can't stand that they've tied themselves to the flag of 'girl power' while all the time being managed by men, written for by men, and manipulated by men. as far as i can see, they've done not one tiny thing for 'girl power'." - Shirley

What Butch sees himself doing while listening to Eve 6's "Inside Out":
"Mowing the lawn. The groove is good. This would be good for mowing the lawn. Not that I ever mow the lawn." - Butch

On Alanis Morissette's "Thank U":
"She must be very happy where she is. She's very thankful." - Shirley

"We're not a real pro-gun band. My bare fists are enough to ward off all intruders." - Steve

"What's brown and sticky? A stick." - Steve


These next few come from a Kerrang interview where the band was forced to ask eachother questions from a pile of question cards:

Duke: "Steve, what is your most irritating personal habit?"
Steve: "Acting weird so that Shirley thinks that I'm really weird, then getting all upset beacause I don't know why I was weird."
Duke: "What?!"
Steve: "Shirley thinks I'm totally weird and I can't figure out why."
Shirley: "We don't want to go there, do we? Not right now."

Butch: "Duke, what's the one thing about you that would surprise us?"
Duke: "Uh, I'm gay."
Steve: "That's not a surprise."
Duke: "I don't know if I want to ask this question after just 'confessing' I was gay! Shirley, does my bum look big in this?"
Shirley: "No, Duke, you have a very small bottom. It's one of your most attractive body parts."

Duke: "Butch, is God male?"
Butch: "God is e-mail."
Shirley: "God's a hermaphrodite."

Shirley: "If you don't get circumcised, you might get a diseased cock."
Steve: "Exactly. Who wants to walk around with a diseased cock?"

Shirley: "Duke, would you iron my underwear?"
Duke: "Absolutely not. Well, maybe if you were pressed for time."

Duke: "Shirley, what's the most unusual thing you've ever received in the mail?"
Shirley: "You should ask yourself that question."
Duke: "Okay. Duke, what's the most unusual thing you've ever received in the mail? I have a female stalker who sends me these weird love letters, every two weeks. They're very bizzare."

more to come...